Whaddya mean I'm not a natural? Pffffft! [*]

The lovely Vitriolica is retiring [óóóóóó], and here are my highlights of her last foreign words on Portugal and us lot - to laugh out loud and cry a little too:

But before we retire Miss Vitriolica, let her just remind you of a few things.

The roads of Portugal are still populated by morons.

Tias. NO!

Betos. NO!

Portuguese snobbery sucks rotten eggs and should be pilloried at every opportunity. (British stupidity/snobbery is one thing, Portuguese stupidity/snobbery is a whole other story)

Molho de ovos, ovos moles, fios de ovos should all be made illegal.

Fado is miserable.

Favas aren’t

What the fuck is that Portuguese “sod you” attitude all about? The attitude that makes people, for example, run to the zebra crossing then cross the road extra extra slowly just because they can and to piss everyone else off.

The Brazilians are the best import ever.... give Vit a Brazilian waiter in a restaurant ANY DAY!

Too many people believe too many old wives’ tales.

Football is fucking stupid. Even if it is a war replacement.

Two hour lunch breaks are just taking the piss.

Lisbon is a fantastic city.

Porto is better.

Setúbal is getting there.

GNR Bigode. hahahahaha.

NO-ONE in the world needs to shower twice a day.

This orgy of consumption of crap in the developed world makes her sick and if we REALLY don’t start taking it seriously, we’re all going to hell and hell will just be a big landfill.

Morangos com Açúcar is rotting the brains of the already rotten brained. We are all going to hell. And hell will just be a big landfill full of rotting strawberries.

You WILL have to give up your car in your lifetime because of fuel shortages and global warming ... get over it.


[*] Sempre quis dizer isto lol!